finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize