You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
We have so much sex to catch up on
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
