My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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