Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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