I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
