After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
