Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
