she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
