Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
