i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
