Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize