i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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