Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
