There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
