Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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