In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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