allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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