I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
