I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
