He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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