just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
