Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
