Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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