Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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