I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
