let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
