my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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