she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
