If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize