I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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