youre lurking in front of me
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
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