Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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