maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
