ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
