Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
