he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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