YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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