the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
