my soul wont recognize me after tonight
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
