We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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