ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
