You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We have started to decorate penises.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize