STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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