That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
