I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Everyone says I win the strip club
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
