You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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