idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
