somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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