Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
So squirting runs in the family.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize