We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
