The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Shame is for Republicans.
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