As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
So apparently I’m into choking now
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
