dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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