I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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