I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
