Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
