Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
