It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize