I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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