google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
