Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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