Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
