see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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