He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Panties = found
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
