We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
