i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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