I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
