Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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